Sunday, July 11, 2004
Sea-legs
Estimated Days Until Blog Burnout: 14
Today I am introducing a second index to finish my postings to bookend the Days Until Burnout I have implemented to open them.
The Narcissism Scale.
We know already that personal blogging is simply a diary meant for public consumption. Nothing, really, is more narcissistic than that. It's amazing the heights technology has allowed us as a species to hit. Before you actually had to have something to say before your every thought could be broadcast across the globe. Now all it takes is access to a functioning keyboard. Or perhaps even less than that.
Anyway, the Narcissism Scale works very similar to the Richter Scale, something people in Southern California (not unlike myself) are very familiar with. Instead of movements in the earth's crust, however, we will be measuring the extent to which each individual post reflects nothing of value outside of my own self-involvement and self-importance.
The Range will most likely be from 0 to 10. Zero = gormless innocent, e.g. Forrest Gump. Sorry, I can't actually think of a person in real life who would fit that description. Luckily I have a movie character of sub-normal intelligence to serve as an example of an egoless schlub. And that's most definitely the movie Gump, not the book Gump; I'm not comparing the two nor am I about to launch into some tirade about the divergences from book to screen and how Robert Zemeckis is actually the Anti-Christ or anything (though I do not have evidence that he is NOT in fact the Anti-Christ, it must be said) mostly because I haven't read the goddamn book.
OK, and 10 would be... Donald Trump I guess. Sorry, I can't actually think of a person in real life who fits the description and I have to resort to this so-ridiculous-he-can't-actually-be-a-real-person example.
All right, maybe Paris Hilton.
Or Prince when he went by that symbol thing instead of his actual name.
So, Today's Post on the Narcissism Scale: 9.3.
Sorry.
Pops
PS- I'm sure Trump is actually a lovely person in real life. But seriously, trying to trademark "You're Fired!"? What a tool.