I, Site
First a note: I don't generally post on Saturdays. Just because I blog doesn't mean I have no life. It only strongly, strongly suggests that.

So get off my back already. What, six days a week of this isn't enough for you?

Speaking of You, I don't know if You've noticed, but down the right side of this blog you will see the little logo-button thingy for something called Sitemeter. Like all the good ideas I have, I stole it from someone else.

The fact that I was able to cut-and-paste the necessary HTML into this thing is nothing short of a miracle. I'm still not sure how I did it. This is further evidence that secretly, hidden even from my own conscious mind, I am some kind of übersmart computer-science savant. Just think of it: all the technological acumen with none of the crippling social hang-ups usually associated with technological acumen. It's like being Superman. Minus the flying and invulnerability, heat vision, X-ray vision, etc. The brightly colored tights I wear by choice.

Back to Sitemeter though, It's the perfect extension of the blogger mindset. Ostensibly it's a business application, so that companies can track web traffic and learn from whence surfing eyeballs arrived at their site, which further helps them gauge the efficacy of advertising. One presumes.

But the creators have made it Free. And if it is Free on the Internet, then the purpose intended in a program's design has as much to do with its actual implementation by users as gay men have to do with... you know... uh... girl parts. Down there if you take my meaning. Don't make me say it, you know what I mean.

Again back to Sitemeter, it's the ultimate tool for obsessives and the terminally self-invovled, which is why I hopped onto the bandwagon with both feet. It tells you not only the raw numbers of who's been where and when on your site, but it also tells you where they came from and where they went, which is hilarious and only slightly creepy.

For instance, I spent a considerable amount of time in an earlier post (from July) where I went on and on about lifting weights with a certain part of my anatomy. And as I checked on where someone's "exit page" led to, there was Google with the search results for "scrotum weights".

At first I was enormously gratified (no, not in that way); I thought wow, I've really made an impression on someone. Someone's life has been made richer because of me. Granted, richness is relative and the worth of knowing the details (or even the very existence) of scrotum weights counts for very little next to, say, transcendental one-ness with the universe or knowing all the spoilers to an M. Night Shyamalan movie without having to sit through that shit, but still... Impact is impact, no matter how small.

But the other side of it was that I just felt kind of dirty. And it wasn't just because I was dwelling on the topic of scrotum weights either, though that didn't help. I thought about all the sites I went and visited before and/or after a session on a Sitemetered blog and I felt great shame. Shame from being reminded of my peculiar interest of midget necrophiliac foot fetishism and also at the thought that someone might have noticed I'd visited one of the many, many, many sites devoted exclusively to midge necrophiliac foot fetishism.

And as I thougt this, I had an epiphany. So I had something to eat and it passed, but then I had another epiphany, this one less centered around my stomach:

Damn, there really is an Internet underground for every flavor of kink, isn't there?

And now I feel better.

Happy reading, people.


This post on the Narcissus Scale: 7.1


Pops

- posted by Pops @ 9:15 PM