Clinton's Face Was All Puffy Too...
I'm sure I've probably said it before, but American cultural conservatism is pretty silly. They expend so much time and energy trying to drag us selfish hedonists back onto the path of righteousness when really they should be watching what they eat and getting 4-6 hours of vigorous exercise a week. Think of your grandchildren, Jerry Falwell.

That the most vociferous among them would like to drag us "back" is an important point: most of them use rhetoric like "We would like to see this country return to a time when..." and then lay out their program for America's future, never once pausing to consider that the America they are hearkening back to is either 1) a figment of their imaginations or 2) reflective only of their personal white Christian experience inside the walls of the houses they grew up in. No drugs, no sex, no pornography, no Jews, no darkies, no abortion... just think of it! And we can do it again!

I think the fact that the film Reefer Madness was made in 1936 tells us more than we need to know about that. And I'm going to leave Prohibition and Jim Crow out of it for now.

American cultural conservatives look even sillier when you consider them against other countries' conservatives. Take for instance Russia's President Vladimir Putin.

Not even now, at the period of unquestioned political ascendency, can American cultural conservatives ever dream of thinking to dare to act like Putin. Not only has he rolled back representative democracy bit by bit at home in Russia in preparation for his big-and-completely-unsurprising announcement to suspend the constitution just before his term is set to expire (I can hardly wait for it myself), but he's even reaching now for a good old-timey Soviet-style international domination of its neighbors.

He's not just going on political talk shows, writing letters, stealing money, just waiting for something to happen like gas-bag American cultural conservatives, oh no. That Putin, he's a do-er. A go-getter. Want a satellite state? Well, you fix an election and (just for back-up) poison the opposition.

And meanwhile, Canada continues to operate unabated. Where is your pride, Sean Hannity?

The great advantage that Putin has is that he's trying to recreate a time that not only existed, but existed in recent enough memory to scare the bejeesus out of everyone involved. He thus has a better chance at success.

But, sadly for him, just like the American cultural conservatives, his memory is dangerously selective. He has fallen victim to the classic blunder: Those who don't remember that Jesus Jones song are doomed to repeat it. Something like that. I'm paraphrasing obviously, but anyway, there were crowds and banners and lots of smelly unshowered-ness going on in Kiev, too far away for Putin to mow down with tanks.

So the past he was recalling actually existed, only he forgot that it had already been resoundingly rejected by all of the world and then, finally, his own people which (at the time) included Ukranians.

That said, I more than admire his verve, his moxy, his gusto. There's a man's man who does what needs to be done. Haphazardly, stupidly and badly, but he's active at least.

He's quite an example for conservatives the world over.

All I can say is: Your move, Pat Robertson.



Pops


This post on the Narcissus Scale: 7.8

- posted by Pops @ 12:05 AM