Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Hot Bucket
Sick kids have seriously cut into my blog time. As a companion piece to yesterday's post, I had planned a 5,000 word discourse on why people in the Pacific Northwest hate Asians, but it doesn't look like I'm going to get to it.

Instead, here's a quote from columnist/pundit/assface Bob Novak from an upcoming Vanity Fair interview:

"I'm trying to tell the truth and taking positions that I hope are godly positions, positions that I hope are helpful to my fellow man... [a]nd I don't think there's any law against enjoying myself in the process."

Sure, at first you go, "Wow, what a smug fuckhole that guy is". But then I think, you know, two other reporters are facing jail time for refusing to identify sources in the case where Bob Novak revealed the name of a CIA operative in his newspaper column while Novak himself gets to "enjoy himself"... so maybe there is something to this "godly" thing.

Something somewhere is protecting this guy. Now with Ashcroft gone, I have to assume it's Jesus.

I know you're used to more jokes about bodily functions, sorry. That'll have to wait until I medically annihilate the virus currently eating my son's insides.

Sleep is for pussies.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 5.0


I don't know why anyone would be surprised to hear such a coment. We all know that God makes the decisions in the White House, and the Bush administration confers with Jesus regularly. I guess ole Novak just got someone to pull some strings to get him in tight with Jesus, too. Novak's position is godly, the Iraq war is godly, faith-based initiatives are godly, the 10 Commandments in government buildings are godly, and everything coming out of the White House is godly. Amidst all this godliness, I'm just sitting around waiting for the return of The Crusades.
That certainly does seem unfair--wtf? He sounds like such a smug little bastard!
Steph and I were trying to comment at the same time. I was also posting to say WTF? That is such a bastardly thing to do, leave Novak out of the contempt charges. WTF again. Sorry for the sickness passing through your house, too. Bummer.
Dusti: Waiting for the Crusades? Do you not get CNN at your house?

Steph: If you see him, you punch him in the face. You punch him in the face and you tell him it's from me.

SJ: Yeah, the youngest one came over all feverish and I said to him "Now you're going to get all sick? WTF?" I don't think he got it.
Steph: Tell him it's from me, wait, don't. Tell him it's from Pops, doubly. I don't fear Divine retribution. Satanic retribution, that I fear.
Cool points to Pop's for describing Novak as "assface" and "fuckhole". I would like to add "fucktard" and "ass-clown" to the mix.
Don't forget fuck-ass and douche fuck
Oooh... how could I forget "dick sponge" or "asswitch...
douche fuck...dick sponge...asswitch...


Those are the funniest bad words I've ever heard in my life...
On my mom and dad gotta know about it.

By the way, who ever in government feels godly deserves a nice, rape, squishy, slimy green avocado splat on its face.
Avocado rape?! Yoli, you sick sick bunny.
Pops and Brent: Assmonger is a particularly favorite adjective of mine. I'd like to see it catch on, though very few people I have come across can appreciate the true absurdity of one who mongers asses.
I hate Asians, but it's because they're really good at playing music instruments. It's so small, agile fingers that worked so well while building our railroads.
oh, cock-bite and gyn-master (we're still not sure if that's an insult or a compliment) are my favorite insults.
He's also a slop dick, bitch wad, dog fuck.
All: I'm not sure how my post inspired all this madness, but I am quite gratified that I've provided you all a space to work out the text-only version of Tourette's you all seem to be suffering from.

And now, everyone, back on your meds.
I missed the boat on Novak-induced Tourettes. Dammit....

If I didn't work all the time, maybe I'd have a blogging life.
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