Thursday, March 03, 2005
What You Leave Behind
Like many, many other people this week, I was saddened by the conclusion of one of my favorite long-running television shows.

What? No, not NYPD Blue, although that was a pretty good (if repetitive) show. As much as I appreciated watching real-life fake detectives on the job rousting skels and flipping perps, I'm actually talking about Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

You're thinking: "Oh Lordy, Pops is putting absinthe in his lemonade again." I am, but it has nothing to do with this. I know DS9 (as dorks like me call it) ended it's original run in 5 or 6 years ago. But did you know they show it twice a day on Spike TV, every episode in order? For all 175 episodes it takes 4-5 months to complete an entire run of the show. They reached the series finale (again) yesterday. I'm still in a funk about it.

I already knew how it was all going to end. The bald dude pushed the bony-faced guy into the fire pit and broke the magic book and then was zapped into the all-white Tele-Vision room from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory to live forever with Space-Jesus. This was not a surprise to me.

I tend not to get emotionally upset at films or TV shows in and of themselves in general. Part of the obnoxious personality matrix that forms the Failed Writer type is that I'm always trying to figure out plot structure and points of likely narrative development instead of just watching the show. Often I will comment on this out loud. Mrs. Pops does not appreciate this quite as much as you would think.

Also, I'm not some kind of crazy Star Trek freak. I'm merely a show-watcher. I enjoy the episodes but I've never been to a convention, never owned any prosthetic ears or foreheads, never had an inkling to learn Klingon, never stalked Leonard Nimoy, I have no models of starships hanging from my ceiling. I did have sex with green chick once, but it was St. Patrick's Day and had nothing at all to do with Star Trek. The fact that Captain Kirk once did the same thing was just a happy coincidence.

The principle reason I'm upset about the end of DS9 is that it disrupts my routine. I established a few days ago that I am Routine's bitch. Call it fastidiousness, call it OCD, call it borderline-autistic, call it whatever you want, but there it is. I likes things the way I likes 'em. I've been taping this show on my DVR for the better part of a year (second time through the series to pick up the episodes I missed the first time... because of my sickness, I have to see them all, regardless of quality or even if I want to), 8 am and 9 am on Spike (168 on your Dish Network system).

So I guess "sad" is really the wrong word to describe my state at the demise of another DS9 cycle. It's much more akin to panic that I feel. Now that I've seen all the episodes, I have no excuse to pay any attention to the show at all as it starts its third time through the run (even as I type this). What the hell am I supposed to do now?

I need to find something to fill the void. Yes yes, I could try spending time with my kids, but if you've been reading lately, you know they're just so messy and smelly and loud. I prefer TV. TV can be turned off. And it doesn't cry and cry and promise to be good if I should decide to lock it in the closet.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 9.8


Try online gaming. And I don't mean Spades online or anything like that. Take the plunge and do something drastic like World of Warcraft or Everquest2. It's a much more enthralling experience than watching tv (at least for me) and you can kill stuff to your heart's content and not get arrested for it.
No. Freakin'. Way.

For the exact same reason people who drink too much should never touch heroin.
Or, if you're like me, you might just suck really bad at video games (it's the upgrades--I have no patience with the upgrades.)

Looking for a good show that you may have missed the first time? Try Sports Night. It's on DVD, and you can get through both seasons in a week or so.
I lock kids in closets too. Except they aren't my kids and I refer to it as "the Boo box". I think the neighbor lady is on to me...
You're right, Pops: "Sad" may not be the right word. "Pathetic" might be.

Brian: Sports Night, yeah! Great show - not about sports, people. I have been boycotting all television since it was canceled. I think they're weakening. I know, Pops. I'm pathetic, too.
Isn't the show available on DVD? But if it's merely a routin thing, just pick another show that's on at the same time(s). If it ends up being Saved By the Bell, so be it. And don't get sucked into the online gaming thing. I'm a borderline World of Warcraft widow, so I know.
Pops, I too was once a creature of habit, needing The X-Files every Sunday night like I needed water. When it ended, I cried.


Because what the hell was I supposed to watch on Sunday nights once The X-Files was gone?! It's Sunday! There's no good programming on Sunday unless I wait for a Hallmark Presents, and then I am just pathetic.
Macgyver has got to be on some channel at least once a day. You could catch up on that (and hope the one with the killer ants comes on soon).
Brian: I actually saw every episode of Sports Night in its original run. Great when it was good, awful when it was bad. Wildly uneven, the whole thing. It was already out of ideas at the end of its very short run, I thought.

Brent: Only one solution... the neighbor lady dies. Let me know how that goes.

Larry: Thanks for stopping by!

Steph: No no no, you can't invent a routine. It has to happen organically. Otherwise it's just... what was the word?... pathetic.

You're obviously too well adjusted to understand.

Jess: Oooh, Hallmark. Has-been actors in half-baked schmaltzy plots. Someone always has a disease. Is there anything more entertaining?
Rambuncle: We were posting at the same time, you sneaky minx.

Actually, MacGyver is on Spike also. I've tried to watch it, but there's no way I can stomach Richard Dean Anderson's super-fluffy '80s mullet for an hour at a time.
I recall you getting up in my shit for watching Buffy and yet you pontificate on a fucking show six years dead. By the way, you should start watching Buffy reruns to fill the void.
Or you could just fiddle around with your blog template some more, and screw up OUR routines.

MPH: I will not start watching Buffy. Enabler.

HFB: Boredom is a dangerous thing. I was going to make it as horribly garish as I could, but then I remembered I had to look at it too. The yellow is frightening enough, I think.

If I knew anything about HTML, you'd all be in some serious shit.
I COMPLETELY agree about Sports Night, Pops. It was all over the place and the talking all at once, over each other (a la Moonstruck) drove me insane.

They've just started showing Angel from the beginning again on TNT. I was also bummed when its run ended last week, even though like you said, I'd seen it all before. (But the last season was the best one.) You should watch Buffy. Dammit. You should.
what about voyager?

its still start trek, plus it has that hot robot girl thing.
SJ: I don't have the energy or patience to absorb a whole 'nother universe of in-joke references and mythology. Especially about magic vampires.

C'lam: Believe me, there's no one more on-board with the idea of hot robot girls than me. The only problem is they don't show Voyager on TV out here. Anywhere. Plus, that show was kinda... what do I want to say... bad.
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