Monday, November 07, 2005
Moday Lite: I Am Rubber And You Sir, Respectfully, Are Glue
I used to be all about TV. I've seen every episode of both Chicago Hope (remember the one when Ferris Bueller's girlfriend played a tranny? That was awesome) AND Beavis and Butt-head. TV is what I did in the 1990s instead of having random teenage sex with girls at my high school. Totally by choice, by the way. They all individually chose not to have sex with me.

I was there for all the most important moments in television for that decade. Blossom almost lost her virginity. The Fresh Prince got shot. Woody Boyd got married to that stupid girl. Blossom almost lost her virginity again. Zack, Slater and the gang all got jobs at a beach resort. Dr. Mark Greene let a pregnant lady die. Alex P. Keaton got Parkinson's. Blossom still wouldn't give it up.

All happy memories.

Things are changing, though. Last night, I missed this:
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Hawkeye and Bobby Simone running for president on The West Wing. I'm sure Bobby Simone talked about reaching out to some skels who were in the wind whilst Hawkeye--please God let this be true--launched into his famous Groucho Marx impersonation to let us know that war is so so wrong.

The wardrobe is all fucked up though. What, no purple overcoat for Bobby? And Hawkeye just looks wrong not in his olive-drabs.

Who's that third guy? Is it Trapper? Greg Medavoy? Ooh, maybe it's somebody from a different show altogether. If you squint, he kind of looks like Schneider from One Day At A Time without the mustache. You kind of have to picture the toolbelt to see it. And Bonnie Franklin.

Wow, Bonnie Franklin. That's an old reference. Maybe I'm more out of touch than I realized. I really have to start watching these things again. Does anyone know what time The Tortellis is on? Surely that's still going. Dan Hedaya and Jean Kasem together at last... there's no WAY that could have failed.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 8.8



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