Monday, November 28, 2005
Monday Lite: An Injection Of National Pride
Days off, parades, feasting, families together... it takes a special national occasion for me to get all my extended family together in order to not talk to them all in the same room at the same time. Frankly I was a little confused by it. What was it we were celebrating, exactly? We still call it "Thanksgiving", but nobody really bothers to give thanks anymore. Not even when I passed the gravy. To be honest, I was going to spit in it anyway, but the general lack of gratitude just made it all the more enjoyable.

So if we weren't giving thanks, what was all the hullabaloo about? Besides the opportunity to say "hullabaloo"?

US to hold 1,000th execution this week.

A-ha! Two things Americans love more than anything, law-and-order and nice round numbers we can publicly commemorate (usually with a collector decorative plate series).

Despite all the frivolity, I'm wondering: where's all the marketing tie-ins behind all this? No t-shirts to buy? No Vegas betting pool to see who the lucky 1,000th will be? I don't know about you, but I want my baseball cap emblazoned with the flashy logo devised from reducing an event of serious cultural and legal importance down to three easy numbers and/or letters. Like X1K or something.

Yeah, a black hat with a silver, metal-looking X1K across the front so we can celebrate our nation's committment to justice while simultaneously celebrating the fact that there are 1,000 less totally no-question-about-it guilty criminal people running around.

Woo! I don't know about you, but I'm going to collect all the Burger King commemorative limited-edition State Execution plastic cups (free when you order a large-size combo).

X1K comes but once a year.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 2.7



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