Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Windows Keeps Locking Up, But I've Got This Reach-Around... Did I Say "Reach-Around"? Work-Around.
Is this post late?

Why yes, yes it is.

But I've got a wife home from work and a kid home from school. That means going places and doing things and people generally bothering me by asking me stuff. If my family weren't such a rich source of blogpost material, I would have ditched them long ago.

I have very little time to work up anything so Byzantine and ornate as a typical Bucket post today, but I would like to share my shock and outrage at the following cover of Time Magazine's "Persons of the Year" issue:

Image hosted by Photobucket.comFirst of all, shame on Time Magazine for going so tabloid. For them to run a cover story about how Bono has shamelessly come between Bill and Melinda Gates. It's embarrassing for a publication whose reputation was built on phone conversations with Karl Rove and shark attacks.

Also I'm not sure I want to know the details of a story that involves Bono having sex with Bill Gates.

Wow, that sentence is going to get me some interesting search-engine hits.

OK, so Bono isn't actually splitting up the marriage of Bill and Melinda Gates. My point of contention is with the composition of the cover photo in general.

First mistake: putting Bill Gates out in front, overlaying the others, so that the first thing the eye is drawn to are his full, supple, besweatered man-boobs.

Second mistake: Bono's sunglasses. Less the photographer's fault there, I admit.

Third mistake: Melinda Gates relegated to the background. She's less featured in this picture than Bono's left shoulder. I admit it, it's a magnificent left shoulder so boldly and age-inappropriately denim-clad, but come on. Melinda Gates is in there for a reason. I have no idea what that reason is (I prefer Newsweek), but she deserves better. Stupid patriarchy.

Finally, unrelated to everything else I've said thus far, it's the time of the year when we all get out our Stalker Notebooks as Pops tells you in advance where he's going to be the next day.

Everyone ready?

There will be no Bucket tomorrow as the missus, the sprogs and I will be ensconced in the warm embrace of the Happiest Place on Earth, the Dizzle-nizzle. That's "Disneyland" for the un-Snoop-ified. There my family and I will celebrate the true meaning of Christmas by spending $4 for a Coke.

Meet you there. I'll be the tourist-looking dude pushing a stroller.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 6.5



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