Monday, January 09, 2006
Monday Lite: ¿Que?
I don't usually ask readers questions in my blogposts, mostly because I realize that's just a desperate ploy to try and stoke lurkers into commenting and thus artificially inflate the comment count. I don't judge. Maybe people do it to keep the voices quiet so that they might not murder their families and then themselves for just one more day. That's great. Very utilitarian, if still somewhat lame.

All that I say in preparation for today's Totally Rhetorical Question of the Day. I'm not asking you to answer it, just think about it. Give it a good, full mull. Maybe jot down your response in your Courage Journal tonight after your prayers but before your Oxy-Contin. Whatever. The point of the question is not in the answer, but in the asking. That sounds kind of deep in the way that most things that are circular and redundant can be mistaken for Zen thinking. Mostly what it means is that I get to fill up this space with words for yet another day.

Here it is, Totally Rhetorical Question of the Day:

Who would you rather be today: Ariel Sharon or Chad Lowe?

Sharon: 300+ pounds, 77 years old, two strokes, major hemorrhaging in the brain, possible brain-damage, likely end of your life's work if not your life, full stop.

Chad Lowe: Just announced divorce from crazy talented, successful beyond all measure Oscar-winner meal-ticket Hillary Swank, left to languish alone with nothing on his resumé but some guest-work on ER 10 years ago and on that show about that retarded boy with Patty LuPone, trading the deep, sheltering shadow of his much-more talented wife for his old place in the faltering shadow of former playboy brother Rob, now declining rapidly toward jowly washed-up coot-dom.

Before you immediately shout "Sharon!", keep in mind that California (where I assume they live) is both a no-fault and community-property state. Also: Sharon is a Jew.

Remember: to answer is not compulsory, nor even necessarily desired. Just something to think about. Assess your priorities and your prejudices, take stock, weigh both sides and decide.

If you're wondering what I'd say, all things being equal, I'd rather be Patty LuPone.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 3.3



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