Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Lowbrow, But I Rock A Little Know-How
I don't really have anything to say, but I know you all want the scary, scary clown pictures to get bumped down, so here I am posting again.

Also, to make up for causing some of you to soil yourselves with yesterday's image, I present this one by way of penance:
Awww... Yes, I've used it once before, but look at the baby puppy baby doggie! Who's a wittle muppy-wumpkins? Who is? You are. That's right. You are my wittle bitty buppy-wuppy. Who's a good boy? Who is? Who's a good boy? That's right, you are. Unless you're a girl. That's right. Unless you're a wittle girly muppy-wumpkins. I can't really see your genitals in this picture, can I? No I can't. No I can't. Who's got genitals? Who does? That's right! You do!

Now, hey! Puppy! Get the stick! Do you want to get the stick? Wanna get it? Wanna get it? Ready? Ready? Aaaaaaaaannnd... go fetch it!

Hahahaha! There was no stick. And you totally ran after nothing. Stupid fucking dog.

And that's why dogs will never rule the earth. Because of the no-stick fake-throw fetch trick. You could train a whole army of super-dog soldiers and it won't matter because you can distract all of them with idiotic shit like that. Also, if you put a bunch of dogs together to march in ranks, the ass-sniffing alone would be enough to disrupt any kind of disciplined formation-keeping. That and the lack of opposable thumbs--or hands of any kind really--would make it hard for them to operate common fire-arms or, say, drive a tank. We'd have them there as well.

Come get us, dogs. You might be able to take out the odd unsuspecting grandmother, but you'll never take us all. Only we know how to operate the machinery that makes the dog snacks that look like bacon but aren't. You need us. You will always be our bitches.

Wow. That one kind of got away from me. I was going to talk about how it's another Fat Tuesday and how I planned to celebrate it by eating another human being, but I guess that will have to wait. But then now that I'm not going to blog the experience, there's no point in even doing it. Yes, that's how my life operates now: it's either blogworthy or it doesn't happen. Ah well... my heart wasn't really into it anyway. I can mark the occasion in other ways. "Carnality" can mean a great many things. Wish me luck.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 6.3


PS- Bad dog! No! Down!


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