Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Happy Fun Time
Let's do a couple of fun case-studies, shall we?

1) Kirby Puckett. Short, heavy set kid who turns himself into a professional baseball player, with all the financial rewards that implies. Not only that, but he was a perennial All Star, spending all his career with one team, making him an icon in the city and state that he played in because of not only his talent but because of his attitude and his approach. He makes a name for himself as someone who "does it the right way." Probably a misconception because he happened not to be 6'6" 235 lbs. with 4% body fat, but whatever. Image doesn't have to be correct; that's why we call it "image."

And then one day he gets hit in the face with a pitch. It seems like he'll be back soon, but oh no, he's gone blind in one eye. Never plays again. Balloons up over 300 lbs. and then dies suddenly of a stroke at the age of 45.

2) Dana Reeve. I don't know what she did before she got married to Christopher Reeve, but I do know that at some point she got married to Christopher Reeve. Yeah, OK, so he was Superman a long time ago, but he still makes excellent physical stock with which to procreate. So she has a couple of kids, knocks around with some bit acting parts here and there, sings in a cabaret act. Then Chris is in Remains of the Day and maybe things are starting to look up a little bit for the family career wise.

And then he falls off his horse and breaks his neck. And she spends the next 9 years trying to keep him from dying, which he eventually does anyway. And then she gets lung cancer even though she never smoked and dies at the age of 45.

I guess what these two examples show is: don't have a good life. Don't strive to succeed or seek happiness because God forbid you may actually find it. And then what? You die at 45 after a prolonged period of counterbalancing suffering to compensate for the years that were good.

Stay anonymous. Mix in some suffering every once in a while so that the scales stay more or less level.

Whenever you hear about some lady (it's always a lady, isn't it?) who is the "oldest living person" at like 114 years old, it's always somebody nobody ever heard of except the people who live in her building and even they were starting to suspect that she was just a rumor.

So that's my advice to you: stay reasonably unhappy. And be born a woman. It's the best thing you can do for your health.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 1.7



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