Monday, May 15, 2006
Monday Lite: Aurora War-ealis
Individually, the things President Bush does just seem like a random string of poor decisions made by letting a monkey throw darts at a bulletin board. Nuclear darts. And the bulletin board is made from the skin of Iraqi children.
Taken as a whole, however, we can see that there is an overarching pattern, a theme, a flow to the neverending stream of festering poo that will have to empty out somewhere, probably into our drinking water.
Let's take a look:
1) Invades two different countries.
2) Which leads to a HUGE ramp-up in military spending.
3) Hands civilian intelligence gathering agency over to the military via a general.
4) Drives oil prices up.
5) Militarizes half of our total borders with other countries. I know there are only two, but half is half.
Stepping back and considering it all in total, there can only be one conclusion: he plans to invade Canada.
Finally, a Bush-inspired program I can get behind.
Think of it: it solves half of the "border problem" we didn't know we had until it became this year's "gay marriage"; it provides us with all sorts of new crude oil resources since the ANWR pretext fell through; little-to-no resistance (partly because of the distraction of the current Mexico feint and partly because... well, because they're CANADA); finally, we can cancel hockey for good.
Plus all illegals from Canada will cease to be illegals seeing as there will be only minor restrictions for travel between the Lower 48 and the US Military Prefecture of North North America (or "USMILFYPRENAM").
I Support President Bush And Our Brave Troops.
I've always wanted to see Manitoba.
This post on the Narcissus Scale: 2.8