Wednesday, June 07, 2006
I don't feel like blogging today. I just don't.
If I were a real man instead of a simpering, whining, people-pleasing kind of whore, you wouldn't even be getting this much. I'd have just shrugged my wide, macho shoulders and gone about my business wrestling runaway cattle to the ground with my bare hands and then gone off to have sex with Jake Gyllenhaal. The way a MAN would.
But I lack the ability to ignore this altogether, so you get five minutes of my time, tops.
You can curse me if you like, but we're potty training the last kid around here. In the first few days, this involves sitting around waiting while your kid sits on his/her little plastic potty seat. You know they're just in it for the novelty of it and for the promise of stickers (we use the Sticker-Bribery Method here), but you can't tell them to stop screwing around and go play because they just MIGHT really have to go. These sessions take up to half an hour and occur anywhere from 3 to 150 times a day.
So I am spent.
I offer instead Other People's Content.
First, a limerick from the lovely and talented Lucy, a Bucketeer so selflessly devoted to reading this blog she doesn't even have links available to reciprocate when she leaves messages. This is related to yesterday's Tom Cruise content:
There once was a man named Mapother
Who craved quite a bit of the other
Hubbard said, "Get a beard,
'Cause teh gay is too weird!"
So he made Katie Holmes "his" kid's mother.
Brava, Lucy. Brava.
In closing, I share with you two things: a) something that's old and played out on the internets but only just brought to my attention by the stupid morning radio show I listen to and b) me experimenting with video blog embeds.
This isn't R-rated, but it's not completely safe for work either. Beware the pasty skinny man butt in the first 15-20 seconds.
If you watch, you MUST WATCH ALL THE WAY TO THE END. The closing shot makes the whole thing.
Is it a joke or is it serious? I don't know. All I know is I didn't have to write it. Back to Poop Watch 2006.
This post on the Narcissus Scale: 10.0 (it was the Poop Watch that put it over the top)