Monday, July 17, 2006
Monday Lite: In The Salon Of Mlle de Lespinasse, Paris, 1771
I am ultimately a hopeful person. I see the glass as half full. Of cyanide-laced water. Not the regular cyanide concentrations you get in regular American tap-water either, I mean the old timey black-and-white thriller levels of instant-death-by-overacting cyanide water.

The point is I don't see the glass as half empty. Those people are such cynics.

Despite my hopeless anti-American liberalism (and make no mistake, I can't fucking stomach apple pie), I always reserved a slight little sliver of hope in the back of my mind that George Bush just doesn't like to talk in public. I cut him some slack because I don't like to talk in public either. I know what it is to feel like death doesn't sound like such a bad option because all the eyes are staring at you as you talk what you have come to realize in that very public instance is total bullshit. The only upside is that after your speech, people encourage you in a slightly-too-loud voice, tousle your hair and give you candy because they assume you're mentally retarded. Which isn't all bad because I enjoy candy.

Since he's the president and all, I'd reserved that last little benefit of the doubt for GW Bush: he's just scared, the poor kitten. He sounds like a dumbass in front of reporters, but behind the scenes, he's more plugged in, more probing, more subtly engaged. I mean, he'd almost have to be... right?

Like all other bloggers, I found the story about the surreptitious broadcast of a private conversation between Bush and Tony Blair a point of fascination. Finally, at last, a glimpse inside; unguarded candor away from the glare of the microphones.

Seriously, have you seen some of the microphones those press people use? Way too shiny.

What we got was Bush summing up the Israel-Hezbollah conflict thus: ""See, the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hizbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over."

I couldn't believe it when I read it. Yes, it's a gross oversimplification. Yes, he says a naughty word. But my God... to misuse the word "irony" so... well, it just makes me sad.

Of course irony is context specific, but I'm having a hard time figuring out a context where Syrian intervention with regard to Hezbollah is "ironic" rather than an observation about a course of action.

My last bits of reservation about the man have been swept away. To misuse our English language like that, and in private... I have nothing left. The glass is completely empty.

His further remarks about "bastard commie Jews" and "motherfucking foreigners" I thought were a further step too far.

And then, just to make it worse, he finished his conversation with Mr. Blair with the following: ""I'm not going to talk too long like the rest of them. Some of these guys talk too long. Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight."

The First Lady takes one more for the team. Poor, poor Laura.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 4.0



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