Sunday, August 20, 2006
Location Location Location
Well, the time of year has arrived once again where the long days of summer start to noticeably shorten, the kids repopulate the schools to resume their long and necessary path toward learning what it means to be a fulfilled, consuming, beaten-down adult and thoughts turn from gratitude from the break of winter we all welcomed in March to a more encompassing holy-fuck-bring-back-the-snow-already-I-can't-take-anymore-of-this-ass-baking-heat. And Mrs. Pops and I have started talking about moving again. Ah, the sacred rites of the late summer.

As many of you know, Mrs. Pops has to endure a daily commute to work that, if I put my advanced math skills to the test here, computes to roughly... let's see... carry the seven... real fuckin' far. There are people who go farther, but they don't live with me, so I can't be bothered to give a damn.

We live in Riverside. She works in south Orange County. I know very few of you Bucketeers are from this area, so it means very little to you, but believe me when I tell you, it's a big step. We're talking about going from 951 area code to 949. That's only two numbers, but they are AREA CODE numbers, so you know they're a huge big deal. I mean, it's not like those things are given out randomly by some blind government bureaucracy. They mean something.

To give you an idea what I'm talking about, let me lay it out for you in graphical terms. No, it's not because I don't think you are strong readers, it's just that... OK, it's that, but it's also easier than typing a bunch of shit and it's getting late.

The contrasts I am about to make are conceptual and PURELY based on public perception of the two regions in question. What follows in no way reflects my personal feelings. I like where I live. That said, try and follow along...


Swimmin' pools, movie stars...


Yeah. Remember, this is perception. My house actually has more than 50% of a roof. OK, next set...



I was going to use an older picture of Pauly Shore, but I think this one works better. See, nothing to offer, but TRYING to look more sophisticated and dignified. Also, the Denzel Washington thing... it's more about the idea of Denzel Washington than Denzel Washington himself. Everyone knows that black people aren't aloud to live in 949.

OK, last set.



See, because in the first one it's a hot chick in a party dress and in the lower one, it's some overweight (for now!) dude with a goatee wearing a red plaid flannel shirt. Of course it it were really about the perception of Riverside, the shirt would have the sleeves torn off, but I think the pictures make their point as far as fashion is concerned.

So that gives you a little idea of what it is we're contemplating. Like I said, I love where I live, but then, I don't earn the money that pays for this place. If it means living somewhere I don't have to have a job in order to stay, I'll love anyplace my wife suggests I should. I can read blogs and eat Cheetos from anywhere. I'm easy that way.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 9.4



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