Sunday, September 10, 2006
Pre-Game Ritual
I've learned a lot of things directly from maintaining this blog over 2+ years:

  • People who blog under their own names almost always regret it.

  • Proofreading is the soul-crushing exercise in near-death tedium I'd always imagined it to be.

  • The totally free Blogger service only annihilates and casts into the void of cyber oblivion the posts that take the longest to write and are the most objectively brilliant (also known as the "you should have seen the size of the fish I almost caught" principle).

  • While blogging is one of life's few pursuits that is truly pants-optional, it should not be construed as encouragement to make "pants-optional" a lifestyle choice, especially in communities with strictly enforced and frankly puritanical/draconian public indecency statutes.

  • When stuck for material, by all means, list.

    Amazingly enough, even though I've been doing this for such a good long time, I still learn things to this day.

    Just tonight I learned that if you run what is ostensibly a humor-based blog, it is not always a good idea to watch long documentaries about the effects of 9/11 on a particular fire-house in lower Manhattan just before you're about to post. On my Sunday "to-do" list, I have such things as Wake Up, Sit For Nine Hours Without Moving While Football Is On and then, right at the very end, I have "Make With The Funny." That one's for you people. If that list ended with "Kill Self," then the 9/11 documentary might have been a little more productive a venture. As it is, it's sort of all I can do not to amend the end of my list to make it line up better.

    So in the place of an actual post, to cheer us all up, I present to you a picture of a boy smoking a cigarette while seated next to a chicken.

    Is it real? Is it fake? Is it child abuse? Is it chicken abuse? I don't know. It probably would have been more appropriate to post a picture that was more in the vein of 9/11 tribute, but those are all twin tower silhouettes with smoke coming out that forms up in the clouds to the face of a screaming eagle or something with the sun's rays in the background forming the stripes on the American flag all over the slogan "We Shall Never Forget" or thereabouts. You know Americans are serious when we break into the olde-timey English for stuff like "shall." But I'm already depressed about being reminded over and over again about 9/11 without having to be further pushed into melancholy by my country's utter lack of imagination in the field of mass-market graphic design.

    There's only so much I can take.

    So enjoy it. The picture may not have any slogans or towers, but there is the potential for smoke and a bird, so it's not all THAT dissimilar.

    I'll see you people tomorrow. Holla.

    This post on the Narcissus Scale: 9.7


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