Tuesday, October 17, 2006
It's Almost Touching, It Will Almost Do
Woo! Yes! Man, I am awesome!

Another blog down and I'm still standin'! And my therapist said I'd never stick with this since "I'd never stuck to anything before in my life." But the joke's on her because there's this blog AND the time in college when that weird chemistry dude who lived on my dorm hall gave me five dollars to try out the new gel-based spray-on epoxy he made in his room when the rest of us were busy drinking cough syrup and not studying. I stuck to that real good. The guy who did my skin grafts even made a point of saying so.

On Sunday, due to unexplained and mysterious reasons, SJ's Give Me The Booger blog went out of business. I suspect it's something to do with complications from her struggle with adult onset dwarfism, but she told me not to say anything about that, so let's keep that between us. Can't be easy, though, shrinking like that. I can see how it would be harder to type a lot with those little fingers.

Blog lifespans being what they are--especially for low to really-low range readership-volume ones like mine and those around me--it has taken me just over two years to outlive just about every other blog from my original blogroll now.

Man, that says something AWESOME about me. I'm not sure what, but I know it's AWESOME. In all caps, just like that: AWESOME. No, not sad. No, not pathetic and needy and clinging and OCD-ravaged. Unless you think OCD-ravaged-ness is AWESOME, then OK.

All I know is Last Man Standing usually wins a prize. I've seen enough reality TV to know that's true. All the blogs from my original blog roll have either dried up entirely now or are updated so infrequently they now qualify as books-online.

I don't know what the prize will be, but I assume it will be something suitably AWESOME.

The only person left between me and It (whatever It is... start pooling your funds now) is the lovely and talented Rita, whose blog actually pre-dates mine by some distance.

I don't know what it is about Rita and myself that makes us so long-lived in this medium, but it is both odd and worth exploring, like a cave made of marshmallows. Only, you know, less nutritious or substantive.

What is it about us that keeps us going? As far as I can tell there's nothing particularly cockroach-y about either of us. Well, I mean not past the fact that she is known to have an unusually high tolerance for radiation and I am startled by the sudden turning-on of artificial light. But neither of us eat garbage (I don't think) or could survive headless for weeks at a time.

The only thing I can think of is that we have both studied history in college. I could go on and on about learning critical thinking skills that develop the ability to observe the world around us and fashion those observations into coherent, pithy thought-nuggets easily digested by the masses. But really, when you get down to it, history is all about filling in the space between footnotes with lots of unnecessary words. Blogging is exactly the same thing. Except without the footnotes.

I expect to win this struggle as well. I have that much faith in my own tragic emotional imbalance. I know it will sustain me.

Although I am on the path to victory, I will be honest and say that it doesn't come with just a tinge of melancholy. I used to like being part of my little blog circle that started in late summer/early fall of 2004. I miss those people dearly. Not really so much because of who they were, but look at what the erosion of my network of active links has done for my readership numbers:

Doesn't that make you sad? Well, probably not you because you came here to be entertained by dick jokes and funny MS Paint pictures and instead you got THIS, so you're probably trending more in the "bored to despondency," but you know... somebody. OK, just me. But I'm somebody. I am.

Boy. I started off so high and now I'm just kind of... I'm sort of... well, take it, Puppet Kim Jong Il.

When I change the world, maybe they'll notice me.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 10.0



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