Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday Lite: I'm Super, Thanks For Asking
I used to think the man I admired most was New England Patriots defensive back Randall Gay. He really exists, look:

He lives in a world of towel-snapping machismo, so soaked in heteronormative testosterone that these men regularly slap each other on the ass, hold hands and shower together in total comfort because they know they're all butch, butch woman-fucking he-men. This culture permeates football at every level, from the first days of Pop Warner to the Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. And through it all, this man has had to carry the name "Gay" through it. I just bet it's been pointed out to him more than once, so I'm not going to pile on. Partly because I'm not in the manliest profession here (being a housewife and all) and if I start talking about piling on Gay men, I'm in a slightly less automatically defensible position. I'm a fragile, fragile flower of a man.

But I no longer admire Randall Gay as much as I used to. No. And it's not because of anything he did either. It's because this weekend, I found out about the existence of this man:

This is Florida State University receiver De'Cody Fagg.

It was going to take a lot to find a last name that made "De'Cody" sound butch, but I praise his family for making it happen.

I bet Randall Gay's experience has been a cakewalk compared to Mr. Fagg's. Keep fighting the fight, De'Cody. Just know that when you make it to the NFL, yours will be the fastest selling jersey in the whole league, especially in certain coastal areas of the country.

I salute you, sir. Punch a dull-witted would-be punner in the face for me.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 2.7



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