Tuesday, November 21, 2006
What Shall We Do With All This Useless Beauty?
Thank God we've finally got this Iraq thing all figured out. I try not to get too political here because really, what kind of a raging narcissist thinks people want to read blogpost after blogpost about his/her small political pseudo-ideology? But now that it's all over and we don't have to endure any more bad news coming out of that place, I can tell you without getting too rant-y that I was kind of concerned about that entire endeavor right from the outset.

But it hasn't been just Iraq this past day or so. As far as I can tell, just about every other running crisis narrative in the whole world has been either solved or neutralized in some way. Iraq, Israel-Palestine, Darfur, global warming, terrorism, the creeping erosion of American civil liberties, the Iranian nuclear program, North Korea, the Britney Spears divorce, TomKat... all the important news stories vital to the survival and well-being of hundreds of millions of people the world over all just sort of dried up and figured themselves out spontaneously in the space of one day. It's the damndest thing I've ever seen. It's almost as good as the day I thought I had gonorrhea but it turned out only to be a reaction to my aftershave. Face only, boys. Face only.

It really makes me happy that we live in a world so at peace with itself, so comfortable, so settled... it's like we as one race, in a spontaneous act of solidarity and self-protection decided that we were going to fit into our fat pants and be OK with that. All the angst, all the consternation, just... gone.

I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that there is nothing else of note going on in the world that we have to fill up all of the available broadcast media time, coast to coast, hour to hour, with the story about the racist rantings of the third male lead of a sitcom that has been off the air for the better part of five years.

What must it say about us as a people that we have the luxury to spend as much time and money and energy covering the Michael Richards v. Hecklers story? Frankly, I've never been more encouraged. World Peace at last. And this time, it isn't just the name of my pony.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 0.4


PS- This story isn't a story until we get some serious network face-time to any and all black people Michael Richards has ever come into contact with. This isn't over until we know what Tim Meadows thinks.

UPDATE: And what a boon for the career of Sinbad! I've seen his face all over talking about this today. You have a lot to answer for, Mr. Richards. A lot to answer for.


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