Thursday, January 04, 2007
I Am Ready To Be Patronized And Ignored
I never really got why we had so much trouble getting chicks elected to stuff seeing as they are 51% of the population. Further, they also control nearly 100% of the nation's poon supply, one of the world's most precious and vital decision-making resources. If the internet is any kind of indicator, the poon supply-demand curve is all out of whack. The American appetite for it is insatiable, right up there with trans-fats and TV karaoke shows. It's more precious, more present, more immediately tweakable a supply than any other resource like oil which relies on subtle shifts in global markets over time to have an effect on policy.

In many ways, we the ruling class of hetero males of this country are lucky that you chicks haven't realized yet that a series of simple "Nope, not tonight"s have the power to shape the world to your liking. Which is weird since you're all ready to use your denial powers when you want the house painted. I know you're supposed to think globally and act locally, but frankly you've been taking it a little too far. You keep letting us run shit and look where it's gotten us. It's borderline irresponsible at this point.

That all seems to be changing finally now that we've got our very own chick Speaker of the House. Think of it: a uterus just two steps away from the Presidency of the United States. In a way it's a relief as women finally start to shoulder some of this bullshit run-the-country load, but mostly it's just terrifying. I mean, come on. She's freakin' menopausal. Seriously, count the chicks you know who are menopausal. Now of those chicks, count how many of them are fucking nuts. It's the same number, isn't it? You know it is. It's a condition that requires medication to control. Hystera to Hysteria. The etymological logic is unmistakable.

And now already we see what we've always been warned about. "If chicks ran the world, there would be no wars and everyone would get along." Now look: we're on Day 1 of the new gynocracy and already they're trying to make us stop blowing things up.

Getting along with people is great, but at some point, you have to stand up against too much squishy hand-holding multi-cultural softness. We've already got a dude taking his Congressional oath of office using a Quran. I don't really have a problem with that, but consider that it's a Quran once owned by a slave-banging hemp farmer and it's clear that morality is no longer what it used to be.

I fear for my country. The women are coming for us. Which sounds awesome. But if by this time next year I know what a sconce is, I'm moving to Mexico. Mucho macho down there.

This post on the Narcissus Scale: 4.0



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