Thursday, March 29, 2007
This is going to be a shorter than usual post today. I know I just got back from an extended absence and you people demand--DEMAND--that I give you your usual thousand-word pointless missive that both sums up the appeal of the Bucket and alienates you at the same time with its sheer volume. But alas some things can't be helped. I cringe when I think you might come upon some fresh Bucket and have it take less than a half hour to read.
Today is a Special Day in that Special Day way you can only get when your kid goes to Catholic school.
My son is making his first confession today. All alone behind a closed door in a little dark room with a Catholic priest, my healthy, attractive seven-year-old boy. Gosh, what dad wouldn't be super-excited about that?
I'm happy for my kid, I really am. He's going to go in there and experience the incitement to confess, to voluntarily enter himself into a power relationship (with the priest in particular and the Church overall) in which he is the subjugated and controlled member. He hasn't yet read Foucault's History of Sexuality, Part 1, so think he'll be OK with it. When he does, though, WOW, is he going to hate my ass. And Freud's.
It's part of the cycle. He got some inkling of what Catholic Guilt really entails from Sunday school, his religion classes and dabbling in some of the rites, like Lent this year where he gave up cigarettes. He doesn't actually smoke (what kind of a father do you think I am?), it's just him trying to game the system right out of the gate. When the Catholic Guilt finally fully sets in, he'll realize it only works if you give up something you REALLY LIKE so you can be a grouchy, miserable bane-of-your-family for forty days. Only by being truly unhappy can you ultimately know Jesus.
I'm also excited about this confession thing because I'm happy about any activity in which my name might come up. Just to ensure I'll be worked in there, I've been a total dick to my kid over the last week or so. That should push him over the "honor thy mother and father" commandment breach, I think. Wish me luck.
This post on the Narcissus Scale: 10.0 (I'm on a roll!)