Sunday, April 29, 2007
And For My Next Trick, I Shall Attempt To Put My Head Into The Mouth Of A Living Ant-Lion
Well. Here we are, all Sunday-night-like, ready to go back to our regularly scheduled nonsense. Only, you know what? Even though I now possess the means by which to amuse and entertain you, I don't know that I really feel like it. Without my blog to keep up, I've had some time to think about things. Want to know what I figured out?
I'm not your tap-dancing monkey.
Oh, do your little routine, tap-dancing monkey. Confound and amaze us with your controlled and seemingly-considered actions so out of character with the bestial disorder of conduct so usually associated with your species.
And then I figured out something else: you know what would be really cool? A tap-dancing monkey.
And then I thought the tap-dancing monkey thing wasn't really fair to me because really all I have is a bunch of words in which to try and engage your mind's eye or perhaps develop ideas that are absurdly paradoxical or widely contradictory to the extreme point of comical reconciliation by sheer insistence on the consistency of the premises.
Compare that to a tap-dancing monkey. All that monkey really has to do is tap-dance and you're in, right?
Not fair to me. Not by a long shot. So then I felt a lot better because, you know what, I don't have to be as good as a tap-dancing monkey. Because nothing in the whole world could be.
It sounds like a useless academic argument, like that time I tried to prove in that one blogpost the existence of God by updating Descartes' onotlogical proof of Him with references to Henry Weinhard's Root Beer. OK, that was stretching a little bit, but this is not all theory. I base my argument here in the realm of strict reality that can only be justified by undeniable material evidence from an irreproachable source.
Of course I mean YouTube.
Happy Monday, most of you.
This post on the Narcissus Scale: 9.999
PS- I started this uselessness with no earthly idea that I could find the video I found anywhere on the interwebs. God bless YouTube.