Sunday, April 08, 2007
You Got To Burn To Shine
Lent is officially over and once again I've celebrated by eating an entire life-size solid chocolate Baby Jesus. The troubling racial ramifications of a cocoa-colored Jesus who is then consumed by a white dude (me) were (as traditionally) overwhelmed by deliciousness and sort of forgotten when I passed out from the hyperglycemia.
But I'll be damned if I celebrate with any heathen holdover rabbits.
I mean that literally. I will be damned.
This way, still, as ordered by Jesus on Easter: Gluttony? Achieved!
All in celebration of our Lord and Savior's Resurrection.
Past the license to over-indulge, where are the benefits? Sure, Gates of Heaven opened, God and sinners reconciled, but you know what, at least President's Day I can expect a significant discount when I want to buy either linens or a mattress. Is capitalism saying to me that dead Lincoln is worth more to me financially in the form of reasonably priced bedding than our Risen Lord? Where are my Easter sales? It makes no sense.
But in some ways, I guess it's smart for retailers to not even try to match the grandeur of the defeat of death and the rescue of every human's eternal soul with some kind of cheap gimmick. I think that's why they're all mostly closed on Easter. They can't help but fall short.
And they hate the Jews.
Yes, I'm talking to you, Bed Bath & Beyond.
But mostly it's the fear of falling short in the face of so much build-up. That's also the reason I am going into the last six episodes of The Sopranos with measured ambivalence. How can they possibly match episode-to-episode what they represent in the history of television? They can't.
But you know what, I'm going to watch anyway. Just so I can have the right to bitch about it later.
This post on the Narcissus Scale: 3.8