Thursday, May 03, 2007
Late, I Know...
...but I have a good reason.

I love my kids and all and I'm glad they're out there in the world being properly socialized by wet-willies and dodgeball at school, but there's a limit. Sure, I want them to eventually go to college and get good jobs so that when they refuse to support me in my old age, it's a conscious choice and not just because they can't afford it. If they're going to get their generational revenge, I want it to mean something, I do.

But this school thing where they associate with a wide range of kids from a bunch of different households, all of which apparently are rife with disease, is not working out for me.

I went for a period of about 3-4 years without getting sicker than the occasional cold or the odd run-in with the clap, as boys will. Then my kids started school and I have since unwittingly lent my sinuses and digestive tract out to be a holding-ground and dispensary for every endemic nuisance known to man.

Like today for instance...

I'm tired of being sick. The only clear alternative is to home-school my kids... in one of those plastic rooms they kept John Travolta in in that one movie. No, not Staying Alive, the other one. But then I'd have to spend even MORE time with my kids, which I don't think my insurance carrier would approve. At a certain point, there are only so many anti-depressants they'll pay for.

Until then: hack hack, cough cough, oh God please let me just die.




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