Thursday, May 10, 2007
A Note From Management
From the erratic posting times to the great shrinking of post-lengths to the long absences and more frequent days off, I guess it's probably clear to most of you by now: I've lost a bit of my blog mojo.
Between my extended internet woes of a couple weeks ago and then my long, stupid illness, I've been off my regular blog game for the better part of a month. And now that I'm back here, mostly healthy, all connected up and able to resume my old schedule of posting and commenting, keeping the internets lithe, massaged and well oiled with the vanilla-scented edible lubricant of which the Bucket is an overflowing font, I find that... I really don't want to.
In the time I spent away from this thing, I realized what a rich and wonderful world exists out there in the hour or so I spend (start to finish) cobbling this crap together out of bits of news and a few scraps of regular ole personal idiocy on my part. I can get errands done, maintain my house, pay bills, visit people (actual people!), take the one son I have left not yet in school to parks and plays and story time at the bookstore. Or I can spend time on myself, reading, seeing movies I've never seen, honing my burgeoning Wii skills for use one day on the pro Wii circuit, model building, celebrity wax figure sculpting... there are literally thousands of other ways I could legitimately get carpal tunnel without having to sit in front of the screen every day and do this nonsense.
And honestly, if you think about it, do you really care any more? When was the last time you read something really great here? It's not that I don't think I'm capable, it's just that when I start phoning it in, I don't really think I'm fooling anyone. I have tried to cultivate a demanding, self-aware, sophisticated readership. OK, not all of you are there really (I'll e-mail you if I think you are, so check those e-mail boxes!), but many of you are just what I was looking for when I started this thing. And for that I am truly grateful.
So what's all this leading up to? Well, it's been nearly three years here. That's a pretty good run for any blog. The ones that last past this usually end up finding advertising, bringing in a staff of co-writers, raising the content to a more professional level, buying a more serious minded and permanent-sounding domain name and selling out. I have no plans nor any desire to do that. Just like I eventually had no plans or any desire to date Jenny Carlisle back in high school right around the time we graduated and I realized she had no idea who I was.
All that considered, I think the only real option for me is to take off the training wheels and see what else I can do. This has always been halfway between a tool and a crutch for me, helping me focus my writing energies while not really being a positive outlet likely propel me to anything larger. I enjoy the feedback, but unless one of you is secretly a writer's agent or a magazine editor or a book publisher (anyone? anyone?), there's a cap on advancement, blog-wise.
So I've made a pretty important decision. I am announcing to all of you today that I have once and for all decided... to keep going. To keep blogging. Every day, like usual. No real change.
All the rest of that stuff I said is logical and valid, but you know what? It's May in Riverside. It was like 100-degrees outside yesterday. My house is air-conditioned. My leather chair at my desk is pretty comfy. And like I said, I'm going to get carpal tunnel anyway. Might as well be for something I KNOW I suck at rather than trying to suck at whole new things.
Thanks for reading.
This post on the Narcissus Scale: 10.0