Monday, May 29, 2006
Memorial Bucket Cheap Picture Blogging
Hey there! Buenos noches, compadres! Happy Memorial Day! Welcome to the Rio Grande! What, whoa, hey now... you just keep to your side there, José. I might be smiling and waving, looking for all the world like the face of peace and democratic prosperity, but let me tell you, that's what the Iraqis thought too. And look what happened to them. You don't want to come here. No, no, go back to Chiapas, amigo. Warm there. Very tropical. Up here there's no way you're going to make more than fifteen-grand a year. Hey, hold on now, that's not very much! I know it might sound like a lot, but you'd only qualify for three or four credit cards, tops, with that kind of income. No way to live, compañero.
Besides, we got some crazies this side of the border. Gringos muy locos, if you follow. Vigilante types. Hearts're in the right place, but ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray, if you know what I mean. But they all got dunebuggies like this here. And flashlights. And notebooks.
If you do insist on crossing, best wait until I'm clear of this place. First of all, wouldn't look too good for me politically to have people crossing the border illegally right in front of me, so you'd be doing me a favor. Second, I've never driven one of these things sober, so I'd wait a bit for your own safety.
I'd stay and chat, but we're on our way to pick up Jeb's wife and deport her. Mom had us do it once before back on the night before their wedding night back in '74, but damn if Jeb didn't track her down and marry her anyway. This time we're just doing it for fun. Yee-fuckin'-haw!
God bless America!
[Note: if you go back and look at the speech Bush gave this year and the one he gave last year on Memorial Day (partially excerpted in the link in this post's title), you'll notice that in certain sections there are exactly the same speech, verbatim. Particularly the part that goes "We will honor them by completing the mission for which they gave their lives." Time to update that punch-card, Robo-Prez.]